As a public service for our fans, Twisted Riddler brings you our:"BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE"
|
|
SYMPTOM
|
FAULT
|
ACTION
|
|
Feet cold & wet
|
Glass being held at incorrect angle
|
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling
|
|
Feet warm & wet
|
Improper bladder control
|
Stand next to the nearest dog & complain about house training
|
|
Beer unusually pale & tasteless
|
Glass empty
|
Get someone to buy you another beer
|
|
Opposite wall covered with flourescent lights
|
You have fallen over backwards
|
Have yourself leashed to bar
|
|
Mouth contains cigarette butts
|
You have fallen forwards
|
See above
|
|
Beer tasteless & front of your shirt is wet
|
Mouth not open or glass applied to wrong part of face
|
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror
|
|
Floor blurred
|
You are looking thru the bottom of empty glass
|
Get someone to buy you another beer
|
|
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect & textures
|
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
|
Cover mouth
|
|
Everyone looks up to you and smiles
|
You are dancing on the table
|
Fall on someone cushy-looking
|
|
Beer is crystal-clear
|
It's water. Someone is trying to sober you up
|
Punch him
|
|
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
|
You have been in a fight
|
Apologize to everyone you see just in case it was with them
|
|
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room that you're in
|
You've wandered into the wrong party
|
See if they have free beer
|
|
Your singing sounds distorted
|
The beer is too weak
|
Have more beer until your voice improves
|
|
Don't remember the words to the song that the Twisted Riddlers are playing
|
Beer is just right!
|
Play air guitar with the band
|